cklablog

moar funny pictures

This enlightening Rivals.com article points up the staggering salary that Michael Beasley’s former AAU coach is making as an assistant at K-State.

Michael Beasley made Kansas State basketball relevant for the first time in more than a decade last season, and his presence put a few extra dollars in the pocket of the man responsible for luring him to Manhattan, Kan.

That would be Wildcats assistant Dalonte Hill, Beasley’s former AAU coach in the Washington, D.C., area. Hill, entering his sixth season as a college assistant, will make more money for the 2008-09 season than the entire three-man staffs at Ohio State, Washington State and Wisconsin and only $5,000 less than the staff at Texas, a survey done by Rivals.com shows.

$5,000 less than the entire staff at a perennial Big-12 power, who have earned a share of the league title twice in the last four years? Really?

The highest-paid assistant among the 13 schools we studied was North Carolina’s Joe Holladay ($265,000). Fellow Tar Heels assistant Steve Robinson was second ($242,000), and all three Kansas assistants tied for third at $234,000.

Hill is making more than the assistants at programs who won National championships and have been to multiple final fours? Why?

I guess you’d have to say, "nothing succeeds like success," or more accurately, "nothing pays like the fragile hope of success at the end of a very long, very dark tunnel."

But even still, why the fuck would anyone at a non-starter basketball program ever earn that much? Two words: Michael and Beasley.

Bob Huggins lured Hill to Kansas State. Hill was responsible for the recruitment of Beasley, who stuck with his pledge to play for the Wildcats even though Huggins left for West Virginia after just one season.

Hill coached Beasley in the AAU ranks, and Beasley called him "like a big brother." Beasley had committed to Charlotte while Hill was still there. When Huggins lured Hill to K-State, Beasley followed him. By then, Beasley had become the No. 1 prospect in the country.

Beasley, of course, was a one-and-done. A legitimate superstar, he was arguably the best one-and-done in Big-12 history (sorry Durant, but I think it’s true). Beasley helped K-State break the most humiliating losing streak in Men’s College Basketball, and surely helped the program regain if not a swagger, at least a stylish limp. Hell, Beasley even got them an NCAA tournament win (and I’m sure they’ll hang a Round of 32 banner in Bramlage Coliseum).

But now what does K-State do? They hired Head Coach Frank Martin and Delonte Hill in order to get Beasley (mission accomplished, hang that banner too) but now they’re on the hook with unproven coaches and a wonky salary structure.

At $400,000 for five years, was Beasley worth 2 mil? And that’s the hard cost — the "known known". What we won’t know is what K-State might have accomplished with a better coach than Martin. He’s clearly not at K-State because of his ability, he’s there because when Huggins bailed, K-Sate was desparate to keep Beasley. If Martin turns out to be a dud, what is the cost of that? How much long-term gain have you lost because you were chasing One Decent Season?

So far, Martin doesn’t look like half the recruiter Huggins was (maybe he is only half the scumbag Huggins was, Guido hair to the contrary), and things aren’t exactly looking up in Manhattan.

I don’t know how it’s going to end, but it doesn’t take Nostradamus to figure out that K-State sold short, got a brief return and is now looking at their metaphoric house the day after the kegger and wondering who puked in the flowerpot.

I knew it.

As the world’s money markets do their best to combat the Credit Crunch, a University of Sunderland politics lecturer has discovered that the root of modern democracy’s money woes may lay with the first corporations – pirates.

The President of Argentinian football club Rosario Central kicked off a poo-storm of Biblical proportion when he was unknowingly recorded while threatening to kill his team and coaching staff.

Baby Caligula managed not to spray too much spit as he assured supporters:

"Central are going to get out of this situation," he said. "We are going to move forward. We are going to kill the players, coaching staff and anyone else.

"If Rosario Central was going to fall I will kill all those sons of bitches, be they players or coaching staff.”

Tense agreement aside, this is a great approach. Utilizing the massacre method, you don’t have to worry about existing salary requirements or termination clauses when you’re recruiting new players and coaches to take the place of all the dead players and coaches.

"Wow, the training facilities look great, sir. But . . . what happened to all your players and staff?"

"How should I know? Fuggedaboutit. Don’t worry about them. It was an accident. I wasn’t even in the country."

. . . unfortunately, it’s a shark. The Bible predicted Jesus would come back as the Lion of Judah, but apparently, He’s pulled a switcheroo and returned as the Shark of Virginia.

Tricksy Jesus.

“I’m gonna kick some ass with my own pipe wrench!”

So Newcastle United are a football club in, you know, Newcastle. They’re also a caricature of a football club, with the owner getting filmed recently chugging beers at a home game (yeah, that really is the owner).

Their last manager quit before he’d even signed his contract, gets talked back into the job, is told he’ll have a tight budget, immediately starts agitating publicly to buy the most expensive players in the world, then quits again when he’s told no . . . and the fans who idolize this mug blame the owner and start protesting, complete with demands that the owner sell to a Nigerian consortium or they’ll boycoutt the games.

And who could follow such a ludicrous show?

Joe Kinnear hasn’t worked in years, but he used to be pretty good in the 90s, so Newcastle drug him out of mothballs and gave him the job, and his response was to take his first day at work off. The press reported it, and Kinnear flipped out.

From the guardian.co.uk:

SCENE: INTERIOR, PRESS ROOM, DAY

JOE KINNEAR stalks in, looking around at all the assembled football writers.

JOE Which one is Simon Bird [Daily Mirror's north-east football writer]?

SIMON Me.

JOE You’re a cunt. Read the rest of this truly excellent ranterview »

So what have we learned? That they’re all fucking cunts. My favorite part is the Newcastle United press officer trying to keep this all “off the record” with a nudge-nudge-wink-wink approach. “Alright lads, off the record then?” You can just hear the obsequious smile.

They hate Pussneys too.