Which one is Simon Bird?
So Newcastle United are a football club in, you know, Newcastle. They’re also a caricature of a football club, with the owner getting filmed recently chugging beers at a home game (yeah, that really is the owner).
Their last manager quit before he’d even signed his contract, gets talked back into the job, is told he’ll have a tight budget, immediately starts agitating publicly to buy the most expensive players in the world, then quits again when he’s told no . . . and the fans who idolize this mug blame the owner and start protesting, complete with demands that the owner sell to a Nigerian consortium or they’ll boycoutt the games.
And who could follow such a ludicrous show?
Joe Kinnear hasn’t worked in years, but he used to be pretty good in the 90s, so Newcastle drug him out of mothballs and gave him the job, and his response was to take his first day at work off. The press reported it, and Kinnear flipped out.
From the guardian.co.uk:
SCENE: INTERIOR, PRESS ROOM, DAY
JOE KINNEAR stalks in, looking around at all the assembled football writers.
JOE Which one is Simon Bird [Daily Mirror's north-east football writer]?
SIMON Me.
JOE You’re a cunt. Read the rest of this truly excellent ranterview »
So what have we learned? That they’re all fucking cunts. My favorite part is the Newcastle United press officer trying to keep this all “off the record” with a nudge-nudge-wink-wink approach. “Alright lads, off the record then?” You can just hear the obsequious smile.
They hate Pussneys too.